I'll start with Perspective: a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; a point of view. [Google definition] This is a pretty easy definition to understand and I think that most functioning adults understand that this is the basis of differing opinions on everything. Our perspective is formed and informed by everything: our upbringing, our socioeconomic status, who we marry, children, careers, and most importantly, our experiences. Good or bad, our point of view is shaped by our experiences. Almost 19 years of marriage has been my biggest classroom on the differences in perspective that each of us can have. My husband grew up in a home where he never saw his parents fight. Sounds idyllic right? The problem is he never observed them making up either so he did not learn how to resolve marital conflict. Instead he learned how to get along with everyone all the time. It has taken me 48 years to recognize that my view of a situation or idea or pretty much anything can be changed and/or affected in an instant and that I have a choice in the matter.
A perfect example of all of this is our story, specifically our #dowdsizing story. There are so many ways I can tell it and I have found myself telling it in several different ways. Depending on my emotions that day I can choose a different perspective and garner sympathy, respect, admiration, pity or all of the above. The truth lies somewhere in the middle. The point is that I have a choice, but the hard part is choosing to be positive.
Most of the time I do choose to be positive, at least initially. I was very positive about the end of our first #workamping job and about leaving the cold North Georgia Mountains for sunny Southeast Georgia and Northeast Florida. Breaking camp was easy and we got an early start. We made good time and arrived at our RV Resort in time to set up in the daylight. We stripped all of the beds before heading out and I planned on washing everything when we arrived. In December I started smelling amonia every night when I got into bed. I never could pinpoint where it was coming from and Jeff didn't smell it at all. I was starting to think that I had a weird strain of COVID that was affecting my sense of smell, either that or I was crazy. While our sheets were still in the dryer and I was setting up inside the RV at the new park I decided to look under our mattress. (We kept the mattress that came with the used camper and just added a mattress topper.) Imagine my shock and disgust when I discovered two huge, wet-looking stains on the wood under the mattress. Upon further inspection I realized that it was urine. Even Jeff could smell it now. We contacted the previous owners who have 4 small children but they swear that they have no idea how it could have happened...........This is where my perspective changed in an instant.
Jeff spent that night on the couch and I slept on the extra bunk in the girl's room. The next day we hightailed it to my in-law's house (45 minutes away) to cut more wood for the bed platform and then to IKEA in Jacksonville to buy a new mattress. This was the start of a series of home improvements that we (I) had been thinking about and planning for our time here in Brunswick. As disgusted as I was by the discovery of that stinky stain, I am so thankful that I did not discover it until we were in a place to do something about it. Home improvements are hard enough to live through in a big house; I never imagined just how hard they would be while living in an RV. We no longer own the tools needed to do major renovations and we are so thankful for family that helped us get that situation resolved in one day. Perspective. POV. Not the one I started with but the one I chose later, after a lot of complaining and a lot of prayer. Not surprisingly, the Holy Spirit is the King of changing perspective.
Expectations: a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. [Google definition] Another word that is familiar to most of us. We loved our time in the North Georgia Mountains but after Christmas the weather became consistently cold (freezing at night and 40's to 50's during the day.) The sun also seemed to disappear for long periods of time and our campsite sat at the the bottom of a hill, which made sunlight even more fleeting. Suffice it to say that this Florida girl and her Florida babies were suffering from some seasonal depression. What got us all through January was constantly talking about how wonderful it was going to be to move south to warmer, sunnier weather for February. Our stay in Brunswick during February has been planned for some time, mostly because I wanted to play two tennis tournaments on Jekyll Island. This location also puts us within an hour of Jacksonville so we can get all our dentist, doctor and vet appointments done. Now that I have set the scene for our high expectations - Enter Reality.
When I was a kid my parents liked to surprise us with last minute excursions. They would not tell us where we were going because it was a surprise. Looking back I can see that they were just trying to do something fun and exciting. I remember trips to the beach, day trips to a state park for a picnic, swimming at a lake, festivals, fireworks, you name it. "You'll see when we get there!" was the response to my questions. Sadly I learned to hate surprises because my child-like imagination was expecting something completely different every single time and, even though the reality was actually awesome, I always seemed to be disappointed. Maybe it is just my personality or maybe I am just a spoiled brat, it certainly was not anything my parents did wrong, but these memories have shaped how I create memories with my kids. I either tell them absolutely nothing so that they are completely surprised and have no time to expect anything or I tell them everything so that they know what to expect. Writing this down makes me realize just how crazy this is!
I actually make a very conscious effort to temper my expectations all of the time. Somehow I still manage to put too much hope in my circumstances, experiences and other people and only I am to blame when I am disappointed. Instead I wish that I could enjoy being excited about something and having things to look forward to, while still finding the joy that exists in most situations, even those that don't go exactly like I envisioned. Oh, I eventually come around and the closer I walk with the LORD the quicker it comes, but I sure would like it to be immediate so I can avoid all the griping and complaining that results in lots of apologies.
We arrived in Southeast Georgia on a Monday. It was the same temperature here as it was in the Mountains. COLD! It was cloudy and windy for the first 4 days we were here but we were busy with the bed and then moving out and moving in furniture. We did get a few patches of sun and things were looking up. Then the rain started. Four days of rain, then two more days of mostly rain. All my tennis plans were cancelled. The tennis tournament was cancelled today because it will be raining all weekend, for the second weekend in a row. Right now I am finally sitting outside while I write this, wearing shorts and short sleeves. It is beautiful and sunny and there are maintenance crews trimming hedges all around me. There are probably 300 sites in this glorious RV Resort (oxymoron if I have ever hear one,) and they have been within two sites of me for over an hour. Here is where I need that other word again - Perspective!
I spoke to a friend in Uganda this week. She had to call me right back when someone came to her gate. She told me later that is was the vet who had arrived to vaccinate her cats for rabies. Sounds normal right? Well, she felt the need to schedule this vet visit because two monkeys had died and fallen out of a tree in her yard. The local government had to be informed so that they could come and test the dead monkeys. While the vet was there he performed surgery on her dog and her cat on a table from her house. I like to talk regularly with this friend so that I don't forget that my problems are never really that big. She is so gracious and always listens when I complain, never pointing out how ridiculous I am. And when she shares her stories it is never to make a point, but rather to share her life from across the world.
I have been working like a mad woman to finish our #RVRenovation . While Jeff was working on the bed platform I suckered my sister-in-law into helping me recover the headboard and Ivy helped me make a new valance for the hallway window. Next I recovered the window valances for the master and put up a new backsplash around the stove area. We all worked on putting together the IKEA love seats that replaced our peeling pleather couch as well as the table and stools that replaced the recliners. Here are some before and after pictures of our rig:
I haven't started working on the bunkhouse other than our initial addition of better mattresses, fairy lights and some original art by Ivy. I was inspired and awed by all of the RV Renovations I see on Instagram. In fact, I had every intention of painting or wallpapering our bedroom and the entire living space. I even contemplated replacing the wood fascia pieces on the slides. But alas, our lovely bed experience reminded me that renovating an RV while living in that same RV is ludicrous. Sanity prevailed and I went with day-long projects that maximized the newer, neutral aspects of our home and anything that I could do to lighten the dark browns and wood. We are already enjoying the new couches especially, as the old ones were peeling and very uncomfortable. Exchanging the recliners for a table seems counter-intuitive but we have already used the table for dinner, ironing, playing games, and a taco bar. The stackable stools have also come in handy and have served as tables, ottomans, step stools and coffee tables.
Let me know what you think! You can see a complete (minus the bunkhouse) RV tour on Instagram - @dowdsizing.
For the record, I didn’t get one sucker out of the deal! 😆 It’s looking great!